Is My Luck Changing?

Ahh Lake Tahoe. Such a magical, beautiful place. The blue, blue lake. The snow-capped Sierra. And the smoke-filled casinos! I just returned from a quick retreat up the hill--a fast escape--and I needed it. Work's not cutting it. And while I shouldn't be spending the few pennies "McDonald's" pays me--I needed something mindless, yet hopeful, to fill my time. Gambling always does the trick. (Free drinks and the hope of paying off my car!)

My friend and I always play the dollar machines. They're a big risk, but you gotta pay to play right? The dollar slots quickly turn into quarter machines. You can play longer. I hit 80 bucks. But put it back waiting for a wheel of misfortune. At this point--my friend says maybe we should knock it down to nickles? Nope. I'll never, ever, play the nickles--don't even bother with the penny machines. Those are the ones you see elderly women sitting for hours, clutching their large bags, lips pursed around a cigarette that seems to never burn down. You can play and apparently smoke for hours--on a few hundred pennies.

I like to walk around and "feel" the machines. Pick one I feel is calling to me. This time--one machine called me out in big, pink letters. "Sex and the City". What? My favorite show! Movie! And now the slot machine? Woo-Hoo! I had to play it--even though--wait for it--It was a penny slot! I figured--just do it--for fun. So I put in twenty bucks. I joked, "I don't have luck with the real deal, so maybe the game?" When I put in the bill--a video clip from the show comes up--"Charlotte" telling me "If you don't take a chance, you'll turn into an old maid!" This machine was meant for me. (And clearly the older woman playing the same game next to me.)

Twenty bucks became sixty. Play a little game matching "Carrie's" clothes--sixty became $120. I laughed. I never win. ANYTHING. Video clip. "I know that one--it's when Carrie went to Paris." My friend laughed at what a Sex and the City freak I am. Another game and I was up to $300. At that point--I said--"time to stop." (The senior woman next to me--wasn't amused or having Sex and/in the City either.) My friend was watching this unfold--and she yelled "you can't stop now, you're on a roll!"

It's been a while since I've been on a roll. I think it's about time. To roll. Now understand--I'm no good at math. And your winnings are displayed in pennies. So when it says "Wow that's great!" Because you won 4 x 5600 pennies--I still think I"m in Dollar Tree territory. Suddenly I am up to $600! On a penny machine? WWCD? (What would Carrie do?) Stop? Keep going? Buy shoes? I haven't landed on Mr. Big! (I'd like to get on a roll and land on Mr. Big. Sometime.)

Time to stop? Why push my luck? Why? Because up to this point--I've had nothing to push. My luck -- great job, great guy, new place--ran out three years ago. It was like my karma train derailed just as it was pulling into the station. So could it be that my luck was finally changing? Thanks to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha?

Okay gotta ask. So... which one are you? I see a little bit of me in each of them. But most say Carrie (the writing thing) mixed with Charlotte (the neurotic thing). Truthfully--my alter-ego is more along the lines of Lucy Van Pelt. You know? Of Charlie Brown fame? I often call myself the middle-aged Lucy. Everyone thinks Lucy is mean. She just gets a bad wrap because she says it like she sees it. She's pretty tough on the outside--but really, she's misunderstood. It's her insecurities that force her to be so forceful. Inside, she's got a heart of gold. She's only teasing Charlie Brown with that football thing. She wants him to kick it--but has more fun setting him up. Sure--if she lets him kick it--it'll boost his morale--but then her flirty game will end?!!

I've always been a Charlie Brown freak. I have a Lucy bobble-head doll. And it's my ring tone. I thought it was kismet when I found out Mr. PP's dad called him "Charlie Brown." We called each other Charlie and Lucy. We signed cards to each other that way. He sweetly scoured old bookstores and bought me vintage "Love Is..." Peanuts books. Remember those? Little, square, blue, pink, orange? He bought me all of them. I can't read them. They're in "the box."

I cashed out at $550--but we played most of it back. I figure if it paid for my trip, and a few more hours of fun with my BFF--it's worth it. What would I spend it on anyway? It's not enough for liposuction. It wasn't about the money anyway--it was about the winning. I was on a high for hours. I felt like maybe my luck is finally changing. Or at least I have something to FORCE me to believe that. I won! I can win again. I can meet a man again. I will get a better job! All because of a penny slot. Ahhhh...Lake Tahoe. It IS Magical.

http://bit.ly/d07mJI Play to hear Proof of Lucy's Insecurity. Listen closely. You've heard it before!